When Kavita started her startup two years ago, her husband had full support. Now, when she told her husband that she was going to receive the award, Vivek’s reaction was completely different. Then slowly, Kavita often felt that her husband always had problems with his success.
Kavita’s case is not the only one. From relatives, neighbors, colleagues to each other, people often become victims of the jealousy of the people around them. Because of this jealousy, not only relationships get damaged, but sometimes people start thinking about the loss of the other. Even so, it can continue, but they themselves also tend to harm others. This feeling frustrates the burning person somewhere and also weakens his personality. It often passes for some gold. Psychiatrists define mutual jealousy in various ways in psychological language.
Dr. Satyakant Trivedi, a well-known psychiatrist in Bhopal, says that this jealousy or hatred focuses on another person’s qualities, success or control. Comparing your ideal or the people around you, then finding equivalence and dissatisfaction with it is a personal assessment. This assessment creates an image of you. Because of personality flaws, we focus more on disparity than similarity.
Dr Omprakash, senior psychiatrist at Ihbas Delhi, says that parents often come to me saying that their children fight with each other during adolescence and there is a problem of coordination between them. Dr. Omprakash says it’s called sibling rivalry in the parlance of psychology. Dr. Omprakash explains that today, siblings tend to spend more time together during childhood than parents. Sibling bonding is often complex and is influenced by factors such as how parents are treated, their personalities, and people and experiences outside the family. This rivalry is particularly acute when the children are of the same age and sex or when one or both children are intellectually gifted.
who is responsible
Dr. Satyakant says that in this jealousy there is a fully responsible social fabric, in which we are taught little or no scope of humanity. From childhood we start comparing children. One of the most important parts of parenting is to never compare your child to anyone else. He says that recently there was a case where the younger sister spoiled the elder sister’s entire assignment. She wouldn’t let him study, a sister had to leave her maternal home after losing her mother. In the counseling of this case, it was revealed that the parents used to compare the two girls about how serious one is in studies and the other is very lazy.
Keep this in mind when parenting
The most important parenting mantra is to love our child selflessly. Never love them by saying you look fairer today, more numbers came in the test today. Even while doing this, don’t compare yourself to any child. Keep in mind that I never have to be something in your child’s mind to get love. The sense of comparison must end in society, jealousy must not develop in the child from childhood.
Instill sportsmanship in children.
Just as there is victory and defeat in a game, so is life. Also note that if this feeling comes from somewhere else or from any other family, control that too. Don’t let the child feel that we will only get validation when he has done something really good. This feeling slowly begins to lead to inhumanity.
These three psychological aspects of jealousy
Passive Aggressiveness: Dr. Satyakant says that the scope of hatred is small and the poison of hatred is taken by itself. Passive aggression goes through this a lot of the time. At this, we begin to rage, to plot, to backbite by other means.
Inferiority complex: In people who have an inferiority complex about themselves, the feeling of jealousy is also very intense. Apart from that, even when there is bonding with people, people with inferiority complex maintain a sense of mistrust, jealousy and frustration, which ruins the relationship.
negative self image Psychologists say that the poorer your image, the more intense the jealousy. We train our brains as we receive treatment from childhood, just as we must stay ahead. You have to stay in the lead in all conditions, even if the person in front has to be dropped. But he hurts himself more.
These three things are important
1- You focus on yourself, there can never be a comparison of two people, because each person’s brain and body are different. Make living your way the bottom line of life.
2- You learn to value the work of others. Learn from others with an open mind, if someone is jealous of you, keep your behavior towards them positive. Also, avoid showing off in front of him. Sometimes people fall prey to the tendency to burn others.
3- Do not restrict the space of others. When the feeling of jealousy comes into the relationship, there is a great personal loss. You should never try to occupy or cover other people’s space in relationships. Especially in the relationship of husband-wife or siblings, never advance by comparing each other, but always stay together as allies.