Depression: Life is worse than death

Do you know what happens when the shadow of the father rises?, the child is depressed, he is afraid, no one can match the father. One such incident happened in Delhi. The name was ‘Horizon’, like the name, there was a desire to play ‘Horizon’ since childhood, but after the departure of the father, he remained silent, the father taught him in a good school, he was afraid of the school, there were only two friends, The rest of the boys made fun of him, he was afraid to get on the school bus, Moussa took care of him like a father, but he was not a father. The reality inside the wall is known for its record of 250 pages of which 77 pages stand out. There is a scary story in which there was murder and also suicide.

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Kshitij:- That I wanted to die for two years, I want to free my mother from that misery before I die, mother used to go to satsang every Sunday. This time also (last week) when mother came. There was a little argument, some laughter too. There is a net in the mother’s eyes, it looks like there is a cataract. now i want to die It’s Thursday, today I used the bike cable to scold my mother. So that the mother does not suffer death…

—As soon as I tightened the cable. Mom fell in 4 or 5 seconds. He knew that if oxygen does not reach the brain, then death occurs.

“As soon as mother fell, I held her head in her lap. They held her in her throat for eight or ten minutes. She was crying with her mouth pressed. Thursday I have been crying all day and all night. I find a lot of miss my father.Mother’s eyes were open even after her death.I tried to close.But it couldn’t happen.Today is Friday Washed mother’s face with Gangajal, read Gita Chapter 18. Mother’s body is not visible. I could not read the entire Bhagavad Gita, I put the Bhagavad Gita on my mother’s chest, now it was my turn to commit suicide. First I tried to buy a gun. not found. Then it came the idea of ​​the electric cutter. Today I went to the market. Asked two shopkeepers for an electric cutter. Both did not give blades. I don’t know why I started asking strange questions that for what purpose a blade is needed. I had returned to home at night. I cried very close to my mother’s corpse. What if you were a father?” 71 hours have passed since the death of the mother. The smell has started. The mother’s neck has been cut with a cutter but not separated from the body. The body had started to smell since Friday evening. The mother’s corpse was dragged into the bathroom. The door is closed so there is no smell. I just want to complete the suicide note. The smell is already at home. today is saturday I am on an empty stomach for three days. I haven’t eaten anything. I remembered that I have kept hot water in the kitchen for drinking.

‘The smell in the room could not stop. Because of this, my health has started to deteriorate. I have burnt wooden pencil filings. Incense is lit. A nutmeg was kept in the house, it has also been burnt. Also sprayed all over the deo. However, I will complete the suicide note with a mask. today is sunday It is currently two in the afternoon. So far, for three days, the dealer has come three times with tenants to show the apartment for rent. But today I will complete the note in any case. Today is Sunday, mother has to go to satsang. Mom’s friend calls again and again. Earlier on mom’s phone, now my phone is ringing. I picked up the phone. Mother’s friend asks Mithlesh not to pick up the phone. Were are you? I told them mother is dead, I killed them four days ago, now I’m getting ready to die. ‘It’s very scary to see all this. After father left, mother’s brother-in-law took care of us as did father. Therefore I declare that after my death my bike will be handed over to her and I wish my maternal aunt to perform the last rites of my mother. The father had a government job. The father taught in a renowned school. Later he started to ignore. He was the shyest and shyest kid in the class. There were only two friends in the name of a friend. He used to joke He complained to the teacher several times. But no one listened. While boarding the school bus, I used to have a strange fear, embarrassment, nervousness. ‘My mother was my hope. After my father left, mother and I were left alone. My father left us all at the time when we needed each other the most. For my good upbringing, my mother also sewed. Mother used to say that a little tuition should begin to teach the little children. I was afraid to hear it. He was tenth. The father died. I was born to my parents after 14 years. he was the only child. He was admitted to Delhi University’s SOL. But luck was tricked, he slipped twice. Depression persists. I’m up one night, two nights, three nights, five nights. i can’t sleep Sometimes I faint. Diseases fill me up. Mother used to interrupt many times. Mother is concerned about high BP. My father was very brave. My mother used to say when I was little that my father went to the hospital with me on his lap. There the monkeys wanted to drag me by the lap, but the father held them tightly. The monkeys were kicked out. That is why it is requested that no one falls into depression.

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